Enrique (Henry) Pablo Fiallo, was a Renaissance man.  His positive impact on NET Institute, IAPRC, ICARE and the world at large was profound. We are deeply saddened that he lost his eight year battle with cancer in February 2022.  While we mourn his recent passing, we want to celebrate his rich life and legacy. 

A Cuban immigrant, Henry came to this country in 1958.  He was a man of God whose faith saw him through the most challenging times, both personally and professionally

A wildly successful businessman, Henry rose swiftly through the corporate technology ranks to the highest executive positions.  At the height of his career, Henry’s professional life took an unexpected turn. He fell into a downward spiral and began to abuse drugs and alcohol.  In time he heard about the good work that Dr. Jean LaCour and Cheryl Brown Merriwether were doing at ICARE’s NET Institute and decided to get sober.  In 2010, Henry became the Director of Technology and Student Support where he served until his passing. 

Henry’s life was marked by humility, integrity, and gratitude. He was very grateful for his involvement with us at the NET and his opportunity to serve and use his professional skills to support our shared purpose and cause, to nurture, equip, and train people who want to serve on the front lines to reduce the suffering of addiction.

Fulfillment Over Happiness – by Enrique Fiallo

“I think instead [of happiness] we should be working for contentment… an inner sense of fulfillment that’s relatively independent of external circumstances.” ― Andrew Weil

What if we changed the focus to fulfillment over happiness? Let’s face it, life constantly throws jabs and punches at us. We dodge, duck, and weave more often than we would like. It seems more and more life lands some fairly heavy blows and inflicts wounds and pain on us.

We are always looking for ways to ease that pain, heal those wounds, fill the emptiness we feel at times. We are constantly searching for fulfillment and healing. A desire to feel better.

I say fulfillment instead of happiness.

I don’t believe in searching for happiness.

To me happiness is a serendipitous outcome. There will be times in life where you will not be happy. Not necessarily feel joy. That’s just life.

But even in the absence of joy and happiness you can still feel fulfilled.

You won’t be happy with the death of a loved one. You will feel sadness. Not joy. But as you are tending to, caring for and and helping loved ones during this event, you can experience fulfillment over happiness. That is worth searching for.

Often, we search for the silver bullet. The snake venom antidote. The dose of magic elixir that will make life recede into the shadows, put out the fire in our souls, and take away the pain.

Doesn’t exist. Trust me. I’ve looked. In the bottom of a bottle, a temporary euphoric high, fat bank account, house full of “toys”, power trip, and in a promiscuous life. IT DOES NOT EXIST. Temporary and fleeting are those.

I’ve seen people turn to many things looking for happiness…

  • substances
  • pain killers
  • shopping
  • gambling
  • online activities
  • sex
  • other stimuli

To take away pain and heal the wounds. None of those things heal the wounds. Any pain relief is very temporary.

And as we have come to recognize, those supposed “solutions” bring along lots of baggage full of damaging addictions and side effects.

The ONE thing I have found consistently leading to fulfillment over happiness, healing, and relief of pain:

Seek out people who need help and work collaboratively to help them through their dilemma

THIS WORKS.

I am convinced that we were designed and placed on this earth to help fellow human beings. A whole host of good things come down on us and others when we do this.

10 Ways Helping Someone Else Helps Us In Turn

  1. Shifting attention to help others takes the focus off us and our problems
  2. Helping others is a positive activity. Focus on positive things and not the negativity associated with our own issues
  3. The connection we develop with others when we help them is a satisfying feeling, washing over and soothing our wounded souls
  4. The act of doing good just plain feels good. Healing, taking away pain, making us fulfilled. Beneficial chemicals are released in the brain when you do good
  5. Helping others is great for self esteem. It gives your psyche a tremendous boost. Makes you feel powerful
  6. Connections we make with others we help builds friendships and a lasting bond that continues to have a positive effect on us for a long time
  7. Inner peace washes over us when we selflessly give time and assistance
  8. We make the world a better place one kind act at a time
  9. We set an example that others can follow
  10. Helping others is a great way to learn about you and who you really are, and in turn to help yourself

You see we really do hold the key to self-healing, easing of pain, and fulfillment. It is there for us to take advantage of any time we need and want.

There is no shortage of tattered and hurting souls to help either. So make it your mission to get out and help someone today. Enjoy the positive effects that it will bring you and them.

Do you have your own stories about how helping others has helped you? I’d love to hear them!

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