team feeling fulfillment over happiness

“I think instead [of happiness] we should be working for contentment… an inner sense of fulfillment that’s relatively independent of external circumstances.”
― Andrew Weil

What if we changed the focus to fulfillment over happiness? Let’s face it, life constantly throws jabs and punches at us. We dodge, duck, and weave more often than we would like. It seems more and more life lands some fairly heavy blows and inflicts wounds and pain on us.

We are always looking for ways to ease that pain, heal those wounds, fill the emptiness we feel at times. We are constantly searching for fulfillment and healing. A desire to feel better.

I say fulfillment instead of happiness.

I don’t believe in searching for happiness

To me happiness is a serendipitous outcome. There will be times in life where you will not be happy. Not necessarily feel joy. That’s just life.

But even in the absence of joy and happiness you can still feel fulfilled.

You won’t be happy with the death of a loved one. You will feel sadness. Not joy. But as you are tending to, caring for and and helping loved ones during this event, you can experience fulfillment over happiness. That is worth searching for.

Often, we search for the silver bullet. The snake venom antidote. The dose of magic elixir that will make life recede into the shadows, put out the fire in our souls, and take away the pain.

Doesn’t exist. Trust me. I’ve looked. In the bottom of a bottle, a temporary euphoric high, fat bank account, house full of “toys”, power trip, and in a promiscuous life. IT DOES NOT EXIST. Temporary and fleeting are those.

I’ve seen people turn to many things looking for happiness…

  • substances
  • pain killers
  • shopping
  • gambling
  • online activities
  • sex
  • other stimuli

To take away pain and heal the wounds. None of those things heal the wounds. Any pain relief is very temporary.

And as we have come to recognize, those supposed “solutions” bring along lots of baggage full of damaging addictions and side effects.

The ONE thing I have found consistently leading to fulfillment over happiness, healing, and relief of pain:

Seek out people who need help and work collaboratively to help them through their dilemma


I am convinced that we were designed and placed on this earth to help fellow human beings. A whole host of good things come down on us and others when we do this.


helping others brings us fulfillment over happiness

10 Ways Helping Someone Else Helps Us In Turn

  1. Shifting attention to help others takes the focus off us and our problems
  2. Helping others is a positive activity. Focus on positive things and not the negativity associated with our own issues
  3. The connection we develop with others when we help them is a satisfying feeling, washing over and soothing our wounded souls
  4. The act of doing good just plain feels good. Healing, taking away pain, making us fulfilled. Beneficial chemicals are released in the brain when you do good
  5. Helping others is great for self esteem. It gives your psyche a tremendous boost. Makes you feel powerful
  6. Connections we make with others we help builds friendships and a lasting bond that continues to have a positive effect on us for a long time
  7. Inner peace washes over us when we selflessly give time and assistance
  8. We make the world a better place one kind act at a time
  9. We set an example that others can follow
  10. Helping others is a great way to learn about you and who you really are, and in turn to help yourself

You see we really do hold the key to self-healing, easing of pain, and fulfillment. It is there for us to take advantage of any time we need and want.

There is no shortage of tattered and hurting souls to help either. So make it your mission to get out and help someone today. Enjoy the positive effects that it will bring you and them.

Do you have your own stories about how helping others has helped you? I’d love to hear them!

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